Here are five principles which can be used to cultivate and keep relationships healthy and strong. I have discovered that friendships are not held together by sincerity and love alone, but by covenantal agreements. When we agree to walk together according to godly standards and ethics, we find God’s favour and truly prove that friends love at all times (Proverbs 17:17).

The Faithfulness Principle
Description: Faithfulness to a relationship means loyalty to a person. When problems are the primary focus of a relationship, principles are laid aside in order to air differences. The importance of sharing feelings often takes priority over character.
Scripture: Proverbs 14:8 & 17:18, Psalm 133:1
Commitment: Faithfulness to our relationship outweighs the importance of any offense between us. I will not allow any problem to override the principles by which we live.
Question: Is this problem a threat to our relationship?

The Four Day Principle
Description: Resolving conflicts preserves friendships. Offenses between friends are spiritually, emotionally, and physically harmful. Bringing issues to closure within a reasonable amount of time maintains the health of a relationship. (The Lazarus Principle)
Scripture: Proverbs 28:13, John 11, James 3:17-18
Commitment: I will not allow any problem I have with you to go unresolved for more than four days. If, within that length of time, I have not come to peace about the issue, I will communicate with you.
Question: How long have you been troubled about this problem?

The First Word Principle
Description: Jesus instructed us to go to an offending brother privately. When we obey Jesus, we are able to reconcile with our brother much more easily than if we had revealed the problem to others before speaking with him.
Scripture: Malachi 3:16, Matthew 18:15
Commitment: You will be the first person to hear about any problem I have with you.
Question: Have you spoken to anyone else about this offense?

The Final Word Principle
Description: We believe God’s Word. We should also believe the words of our friends. If we respect the words we hear from each other, we do not need constant assurances of the well-being of our relationship. We can he confident that all is well because we have not been told otherwise.
Scripture: Proverbs 14:5, 25, 35, 1 Corinthians 13:7, Ephesians 4:15
Commitment: I will believe and act upon the last words we spoke concerning our relationship and live as if you will do the same. If anything changes on my part, I will inform you.
Question: Did you forget or disregard what we last spoke to one another concerning our relationship?

The Friendship Principle
Description: God is the only one who knows what is in a man’s heart. One should not expect that a friend discern what is happening inside of him. Therefore, the need to be understood is met in friends communicating with one another.
Scripture: Proverbs 14:5 & 17:17 & 18:24 & 27:6
Commitment: I will befriend you by being honest. I will not expect you to interpret my actions or recognize my heart’s condition. It is my responsibility to approach you if I need your help.
Question: Are you offended that I did not recognize you were troubled?